


Things are Complicated

by bearlyepic



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy is a mutant, F/M, because I love the xmen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 12:11:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearlyepic/pseuds/bearlyepic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Darcy discovers she is a mutant with the extremely useless ability to sap energy from magic sources, she gets a promotion that means a new roommate. Her cat, Freddy Purrcury, is not pleased. And neither is Loki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things are Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what is wrong with me. Titles are hard. Expect a lot of references to the complete marvel universe.

Out of all of the underpaid helper monkeys that worked at the Avenger’s tower, Darcy Lewis was not the best. She tended to always show up about five minutes late, really stretched the “casual professional” look with her jeans and sweaters, and had absolutely no interest in science or espionage or Shield in general. She was only really there because she knew too much, so until they invented a mind-wiping technology that wouldn’t get Captain’s panties in a wad, she was stuck there earning minimum wage and making sure that Jane didn’t like, collapse from lack of sleep. 

She swept through the lab with her armfuls of coffee, blinking at the exhausted scientists that made vague grabby-hands when she offered up the goods. They were calibrating some kind of machine, that, if explained to her, would probably sound like a much of mumbo-gumbo gibberish. She glanced over an exhausted Jane’s head and sniffed her hair.

“Hey… Hey… Science Lady,” she said, nudging her boss with the side of her arm as she set out a large coffee full of cream and sugar next to a spread of papers and notes, some of which were on napkins. “When was the last time you took a shower?”

“Huh, oh hello Darcy.” 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I can’t remember.”

Darcy sighed. This is what happened when she took a three day weekend. Jane worked until she collapsed, woke up, and then started working again. And yet she was still rocking that arm-candy of a thunder god. How did she do it? She gave the smaller woman a skeptical look, probably suspecting witchcraft. It was the only possible answer. 

“Jane, you need to go upstairs to you apartment, take a shower, eat some food, and get a nap,” Darcy ordered as she set the last of the coffee order down on the desk next to the young, bewildered looking PhD-student who she had once considered sleeping with. But then he turned out to be more interested in her girls than her stunning personality so off to the curb he went. 

“Darcy. I need to have everything calibrated by this afternoon. We’re doing readings that can help finalize all of my work, all of my research.”

“Okay, but nothing should get in the way of personal hygiene. Nope. No arguing.” Darcy raised her finger and channeled her inner mom. 

The scientist groaned, laying her forehead on her mound of papers, knowing deep down that the brunette was, sadly, right.

“I’ll be back in 3 hours.”

“4”

“3 and a half.”

“Deal.”

They shook on it, leaving Darcy to survey her kingdom of machines, computers, and other wacky science stuff. And her little science children, unable to care for themselves until she pulled them away from all of their toys.

Adorable. 

She swung herself into her creaky office chair. Her desk was a sad metal box a fourth the size of what Jane and the other bigshots were working with. But it was hers, complete with a framed picture of her cat and a chunk of the building that nearly killed her during the good ol’ European alien invasion. It was unfortunate she had to specify that at all, considering how many times she had nearly been killed during an alien invasion. 

She rested her legs up on her over-turned black mini trashcan, collected from the side of the street. What could she say? She loved to recycle. After a few minutes of checking through her emails, she went to her grunt work. Which was scheduling, mainly, and making sure that Jane knew what she was supposed to be doing. She also did some mad data input. She made spreadsheets her bitch. 

One particular thing caught her eye, making her eyebrows shoot up past the upper rim of her classes. One word, really. Loki. As in, the mass-murdering, hell-bent on conquest space dude with the affinity for green. Oh sure, he was currently working for the Avengers as their side-kick/space prisoner and it seemed that lab rat was going to be added to that list.

So that was what Jane spent all her time doing. Apparently he was going to be coming in with his magical handcuffs curtesy of the big guy in the sky, and they were going to do some consulting as well of energy readings. Try to figure out some of that magic mumbo-jumbo so that they could harness it to make their rainbow bridge. Jane needed to have easy access to her boy toy after-all.

Darcy couldn’t blame her.

She had been so painfully single for so painfully long. She needed someone nice and smart and rich. She needed to quit this helper monkey job, just come in on a volunteer basis to make sure that Jane didn’t like, kill herself. Or at least remembered to be a functioning human being. 

Darcy recorded this little snippet into the journal she kept in her desk. She thought it was secret, but she knew that Tony had Jarvis watching everyone so the pleather bound thing was probably known to the hotshots. It was her journal of “Freaky Superhero Shit” that has happened to her. Over the last couple days she has recorded:

\- Someone attacked AH, again. I can’t remember who it was. I think they were pterodactyl themed?  
\- Saw Spider-man on way to work. He has a nice butt.  
\- The black widow actually smiled. I hope she doesn’t see this. Holy Shit, she will kill me.

Now she was helping to test on one of the more famous bad guys. Because there were plenty of bad guys out there. They had been popping out of the walls, what with mutants getting more publicity and other freaky science shit giving people the ability to shoot beams of energy and wreak havoc. Also, it turns out people weren’t happy with the social and economic inequalities of the world and country.

Shocker. 

Once upon a time she had wanted to get involved in politics because she felt the exact same way. She could have been an honest policy maker, helping out the little guy! Now she was living with 3 other shitty roommates in a tiny-ass apartment because it was all she could afford while she paid off her student debt. Yay, education!

She needed a raise. Better yet she needed a real job. Too bad “corralling geniuses” and “surviving surprising number of near-death experiences” didn’t translate well on resumes. Also yeah, they would not let her leave knowing what they think she knows. 

The three and a half hours passed with a surprisingly fast amount of time, helped out by Adele’s newest cd blasting from her ipod. She hardly noticed when a freshly dressed and less haggard looking Jane took her seat. It wasn’t until a tall figure stepped through the door that she tugged out one of the earbuds. 

The air was thick with tension, the scrawny nerd types avoiding eye contact with the Big Bad Wolf himself. Man, for a bad dude he didn’t look terribly threatening. He was dressed in some weird Tolkein get-up made up of leather and some kind of linen. He was rocking the relaxed warrior-chic thing. Of course he was flanked by Thor, the giant thunder pup himself. He was grinning at Jane, who blushed and looked at her work. They were so cute. Trying to be professional. Gross. Just have tiny little sunshine babies already, Jesus. There was also a few deadly looking Shield agents toting some alien technology probably meant to take him down if so much as bat an eye the wrong way. 

She grunted to herself, shoving her ear bud back in while they got him situated in the chamber. There was some weird metal set-up, and they had him stand there, looking like her cat when she had to corner him for his flea treatment. She could almost imagine his long black hair standing on end. She could hear him hissing. 

She giggled to herself, getting lost in a game of Solitaire when Jane’s voice called out. “Darcy? I need you to help take down these numbers,” she said, fumbling with some hand-made science junk that looked to be a combination of a walkie-talkie and blender.

“Sure thing, boss-lady.”

Darcy stood and stretched, ignoring the pull of her tight muscles.

She strode over to Jane’s side, relieved to smell that the hint of BO had been replaced by some pleasant fruity scent. She took one of the notebooks, about to write down when all hell broke loose and Boss-Lady practically had a conniption.

“What? No! No! It was working! I was getting the perfect readings. DAMNIT!”

The other scientists became frenzy, double-checking calculations and technology. Darcy stood in the middle of it, confused and trying not to get trampled by the panicked herd.

Loki looked mostly annoyed, though his glare seemed to be pinpointed at Jane in particular.

Thor, bless his heart, just look mildly confused and slightly uneasy at the distress on Jane’s face.

“Uh… Jane?”

“Nevermind Darcy, just… go back to your work.”

“Can do. Sure you don’t need anything?”

Jane’s head was in her petite hands, but the shake was clear. Darcy was not needed. With a shrug the busty woman headed back to her seat, flopping down exactly when Jane let out a joyous cry.

“Oh! Yes, it’s working. Wait, Darcy! I need you.”

“Okay, but seriously, let’s not do the chair Olympics, please,” Darcy said with a groan, managing to slump back over. 

But Jane was no longer ecstatic. She had that look on her face when she was trying to solve a particularly difficult problem. She went through her notes, checking again while all the other helper bees froze, staring at their boss with equal confusion.

“Its… the readings are irregular again…” Jane said softly, before she turned her doe eyes on Darcy, who immediately put her hands up.

“I didn’t touch anything, I swear.”

“Darcy… go back to your desk…”

“What? Why?”

“Just… please.”

Darcy complied, stepping back to her little corner of the clean, white room. Jane glanced back at the numbers, the reading before she looked at Darcy in wonder.

“Come back.”

“Okay.”

“…So, uh you are messing with the readings... The ‘magic’ for lack of better words has declined drastically…”

Darcy glanced up and saw the way that Loki glared at her, his eyes narrowed in slits of hatred. “Holy shit.” She whispered, noticing for the first time that the tightness in her muscles was completely gone. “So I’m screwing with magic man’s mojo?”

“For lack of better words yes… but how? Unless… Have you ever been tested?”

“For what?”

“The X-gene.”

“Like one of those take home packets white moms buy from drugstores? No. I’m not a mutant. Like, I don’t have horns or weird skin or breathe fire.”

“I can’t know for sure unless we get a DNA sample, and then we can send it to Hank McCoy to be examined, though maybe Bruce could do it if he has time. This asks a lot of questions. Would you have the same effect on Dr. Strange? What sort of evolutional purpose could being a… sponge be? Or is this from the levels of alien energy you have been exposed to? Will I also show some sort of adaptation?”

“Woah, wow okay. Slow down. How about I go take my break and you finish up your readings. Then you can take blood or spit or whatever it is you need to figure this thing out. Because, honestly hearing I might be a mutant is pretty sudden, especially when I don’t have a cool power. I don’t want to be a sponge, Jane.”

Jane was not listening any more, muttering herself about the properties of magic and whatnot. Thor was turning his puppy-dog eyes on her now, and she felt her stomach twist, remembering images of angry protests against mutant-kind. 

She turned tail and got the hell out of there.


End file.
